Osama bin Laden declares “News of my death has been greatly exaggerated!”
Speaking from a plush hotel room in Karachi, the Al Qaeda leader appeared very much alive and well. “The Zionist forces of Global Oppression murdered my crazy twin brother—Obama Bin Liner. I was paying him to act as my double” said Bin Laden.
“The Zionists infidels will always have a problem with identifying and killing me, because I have many Muslim brothers living in this region who look very similiar to me. The process of indenfification is made even more difficult because we all wear shemaghs in this country” he said.
He continued “Pakistan is a very poor country full of many brave men, willing to risk their lives in order to feed their families. I have an army of paid, look-a-like stooges under my command pretending to be me.”
“It is only when the Zionist pigs need a propoganda coup to fool the American public, that they start authorising assassination attempts against me!” he said “Even stupid American dogs will eventually realise I can only be killed once!” Bin Laden declared defiantly.
“They claim that they buried my corpse at sea in strict observance of our Muslim traditions. It’s most interesting, that they should treat the corpse of American public enemy number one with such reverance and respect, whilst simultaneously invading and destroying our most holy of holy muslim lands.” Commented Bin Laden sardonically.”Probably it’s case of deception rather than respect for our Muslim traditions, considering I’m still alive!” He said.
